Pretty in Pink

After an article last week that, in the words of Edge and Christian ‘reeked of awesomosity’, this week I am afraid I find it impossible to live up to the standards of positivity I set last week. No way could I write another article on AJ Styles and New Japan. ICW visits my home town this week, but not until Friday, and much as i would like to talk about Grado getting a title shot, that is probably best left for next week.

So where does that leave us with material to write about? The inexplicable decision by A-Double to not go for the main title because Joe told him not to? Bobby Roode pretending he is the aforementioned Christian? El torito making his return? How about the story of Nick Hogan’s phone being hacked, and the alleged photographs of his mother in a thong found there?

None of the above, the only thing worthy of comment would be the guest stars on Raw.

While the WWE goes into charity overdrive, it is understandable that they will have some of their stars appearing on other shows. I would have expected those stars to be female stars, given that the charity in question is a breast cancer charity. John Cena is however, the biggest name they have, and while I could certainly insert any number of jokes here, I will resist, because I am better than that.

But here is the problem, Cena goes on the Kathy Lee show, which airs in America, and everyone knows who Cena is. Kathy Lee appears on a show which is broadcast worldwide, and America knows who she is. Don’t even get me started on Hodar(?) who I thought was the giant from Game of Thrones… not often I am disappointed when the giant turns out to be a young-ish blonde female.

So they rock up with the Rose Buds and quite literally stink the place out. There may have been something that caused the booing on their show, but again, the rest of the world don’t get to see that show. Apart from the pink dresses worn by the two people I have never heard of, and the association of that colour to the fight against breast cancer, I have no idea why they were there.

They added nothing to a storyline, nothing to anyone’s reputation, and absolutely nothing to the show.

We also have a famous(?) author and presenter who’s name escapes me, being introduced to the world as someone battling breast cancer. She was introduced by Jerry Lawler, a man who made a career in commentary through misogynous comments about breasts. How many times he declared an interest in ‘puppies’  is not actually recorded, but it would be way too many to allow him anywhere near a segment like this.

I should probably say at this point that I have no problem with the cause, or any of the people brought in to highlight the cause. Breast cancer, or any cancer is something that needs fighting, and anything that helps eradicate any disease is well worth supporting. It is HOW it is done in this case that annoys me.

On a side note, WWE have in the past declared that a portion of the profits from selling the pink gear would go to the Susan G Komen foundation. I said last year that they should declare what portion that was, and how much WWE actually made from the deal. This year, I quite clearly heard Cena say the profits would be going to the fight against breast cancer, so I would expect all the proceeds to be heading in that direction.

But enough of that, and on to the real news from this week, the return of the Great One.

Rocky returning came as a total surprise to me, and was without doubt the highlight of the show. Unfortunately, it was not up against much in the quest to claim that title, and just as well.

Rocky returns to lay down a challenge to the Authority? that would have worked. Rocky returns to reunite the Rock and Sock connection could have been awesome. Rocky being shoehorned into a feud between Rusev and the Big Show? Erm…

Number one, I fully expect Rusev to beat the Big Show, and pretty much anyone until he faces Cena, so to have Rock do what he did, after telling Rusev everyone else is scared of him tells everyone that the product is inferior to that of the attitude era, when the Rock was at his peak. It is so inferior that even ten years later, the Rock is still so much better than anything WWE currently has.

The Great One also told Rusev and Lana that nobody hated them because they were Russian (even though neither actually are), but that they were hated because they were A-holes. Now despite neither being Russian, the whole gimmick has been based on that idea. It started when he faced the Real American,  his matches have ended with JBL telling everyone America had been let down. Two weeks ago, Show was telling Mark Henry he had 318 million Americans to represent.

Show followed that up in his apology by declaring he was a ‘red,white and blue blooded American from the United States of America‘. If that does not make this feud a US v Russia feud, I don’t know what will. In fact the only thing anyone really wanted to see was an American beat the Russian, and that is exactly what they got.

So where does that leave Mark Henry, Jack Swagger or the Big Show( if as predicted, he loses to Rusev)? You could not get the job done, but Rocky could… But Rocky wont be there.

I totally understand that Rocky is absolutely the biggest name the WWE have in their arsenal, even bigger than the Hulkster, but he still has to be used properly. He is over with the crowd despite one appearance every six months. If you are going to bring him back, do it when Roman goes up against Lesnar, use him as an advocate for Roman to go up against Heyman.

Let them battle it out on the mic as the two combatants look mean in the background. Let us see the mental battle between Rock and Heyman, and use those two to sell a PPV like no-one has sold one before.Everyone wins from that, the fans get to see Rocky, Heyman has someone to duel with, and both wrestlers get the benefit of all the attention. WWE gets its biggest surge in network buys since start up, and probably a spike in PPV sales as well.

But don’t use him to show your roster is weak, and don’t waste the biggest name you have on five punches on a Russian that everyone in America wants to see get the beating of his life.

Next week I absolutely will bring you a report from the ICW show in Dundee, where my alcohol riddled mind will try to recollect the highlights of what promises to be a fantastic show. In the meantime, why not catch up on all the other great articles we have online right now? Alternatively, you could check out the latest episode of the mfx podcast, which mentioned wrestling at least twice, in between stories of Sir Ian and his trip to America. The show includes some stellar advice for anyone who ever visits a strip club, a look back at the scottish independence referendum, and a woman with three breasts, so well worth a listen.

 

and FREEDOM!!!

 

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