Raw Revisited 28th July: A Pile Of B Words

Cesaro vs John Cena 2? Chris Jericho vs Seth Rollins? Should be a great show right? On any other night, the answer would be yes, but in the case of this raw it would be a resounding NO! And the reasons for this are simple:

  • No Dean Ambrose
  • Stephanie McMahon and BRIE FUCKING BELLA closed the show out!
  • Brie
  • Brie Bella
  • Brianna Danielson

Anger aside, lets do this thing (the anger will not be put aside)

This Is A John Cena That People Can Get Behind….Mostly

Aside from the brilliance of Paul Heyman, which noone can even come close to matching, John Cena was on point tonight. He gave a very good promo that felt real because of the passion of his delivery. Too often, Cena says the same regurgitated nonsense and makes cheesy jokes about diarrhoea and photoshops people heads onto pigs because hes a 38 year old man, whose lines are written by other men in their late 30’s and that’s what people in that age group think is funny to kids I guess.

And for the most part, his promo avoided the usual “some of you like me, some of you don’t”, “never give up”, “rise above hate” lines that he usually spouts in favour of just saying how much he loved the business. It was good enough for me to even forgive his line about Brock Lesnar only showing up when he wants to.

Cena Cesaro II: Electric Bugaloo

Yeah, so Cena and Cesaro had another match and it was as amazing as their first. If nothing else, it served to put Cesaro in a place of somewhat-relevance again after losing to Kofi Kingston and Big E for the better part of 2 months. Lets hope that this keeps up and we can make Cesaro into the star he was born to be (Welp, just read the spoilers for Smackdown and he lost to Jack Swagger via submission, back to the drawing board!)

Whats This? A Good Build For A Diva’s Feud?

I am truly grateful that we are getting a proper build to the match between AJ and Paige that isn’t just “Lets have a tag match and the champ gets pinned” or “Lets have one dump milk on the other backstage and call her a tramp”. The AJ and Paige feud feels like a feud between 2 male wrestlers, and that’s not meant to be sexist. What I mean is, that its being give the attention and build up that it deserves and allows them to dislike each other for reasons not involving liking the same boy or how they look. It’s just blatant dislike / hatred and that is how things should be!

Its 14 Years Ago!

Here comes that thing that I love; continuity! Back in 2000, it was a big thing for Chris Jericho to come out and berate Stephanie McMahon for various reasons. Back then it was hilarious too. Here we are 14 years later and Stephanie has just gotten out of jail. It makes the most sense in the world that Jericho would come out to make fun of Stephanie for that. It’s so damn logical that I am surprised that WWE creative came up with it quite frankly.

The phrase “trash bag ho” has no place on a PG show however, so they had to stop Jericho short before he could finish, but we take what we can get!

This was also a great set up for a potentially awesome match; Seth Rollins vs Chris Jericho.

America F*$£ Yeah!

Thankfully for all of us, the Jack Swagger and Rusev feud is not being discarded because of the media backlash. Swagger was just hitting his sweet spot as a face and getting massive crowd reactions for the first time in his career, and while I’m not his biggest fan (and because he injured 2 of my favourites in Dolph and Bad News Barrett costing them both their titles in the process) I still like to see people succeed if only for a short time.

This is inevitably building up to a flag match at Summerslam so that Jack Swagger can win and Rusev will still never have been pinned, protecting him while still glorifying the stupid ol’ USA!

Roman Reigns Taken Down A Peg!

Lets face it, Roman Reigns has been on too much of a dominant streak as of late. Closing out every show standing tall, beating people in handicap matches, it was starting to look like Ryback 2.0 and nobody wants that. This week, Triple H told Randy Orton that he would not get a title shot again until he got rid of Roman Reigns for good. So what does Randy do? Mope? Talk slowly and walk slowly around the building? No he comes out and absolutely destroys Roman Reigns for 10 solid minutes.

This accomplishes so much. It sets up Randy Orton vs Roman Reigns at Summerslam and makes us actually care about it more than we would have. It makes Randy look like a legitimate threat and it takes Roman Reigns down a peg and stops him from looking to invulnerable. Great segment!

Cool Dad vs Emo Son

Jericho being back in WWE has set up so many potentially great matches. Jericho vs Rollins is one of those and tonight did not disappoint. The two definitely have chemistry, the only thing is that next time I would like to see an actual finish to the match. It certainly wouldn’t have hurt Jericho to lose to Rollins at this stage in his career, and it would certainly help Rollins to defeat a future hall of famer like Jericho.

Either way, I’m sure this is not the last time these two will match up, and that is never a bad thing!

A Wild Jamie Noble Appears!

Ugh, this segment. Let me preface this by saying that Stephanie McMahon is the best actor on WWE programming right now. She conveys the whole range of emotions and does it almost effortlessly. She is also supremely sexy, not afraid to make a fool of herself and is just all round great. The problem I have with this segment is not because of her, and it is certainly not that women are the focus of the main event segment of Raw. The problem is simply Brie Bella.

I’ve watched a bit of Total Diva’s, enough to hate Cameron, Natalya and Nikki Bella as they are the supremely worst people on the face of this planet. Brie Bella seems like a down to earth, salt of the earth girl who is drawn into fakeness by her twin sister. Brie Bella when she tries to act, is the absolute worst.

There is also a confusing dynamic at play here. We are supposed to hate Stephanie and cheer for Brie Bella here, right? But let me lay it out for you. Brie Bella quit, slapped her former boss in front of 10’s of thousands of people and left. Stephanie is the principal owner of the company and puts her sister in matches where she is at a disadvantage instead of, you know, suing the shit out of Brie Bella for assault and probably breach of contract.

Then, Brie shows up in the front row to provoke Stephanie, call her a bunch of names, and in response, Stephanie slaps Brie. So Brie calls the “cops” and has Stephanie arrested in public instead of backstage off camera. Stephanie is humiliated, sent to jail and made to explain to her YOUNG CHILDREN why their mother was in jail.

Brie then shows up, blackmails her way back into a job that she QUIT, and then coerces a match out of her boss so she can vent her frustration.

Tell me again, who’s supposed to be the good character and who’s the bad one here because I sure as shit don’t know!

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