Two things before we kick off this week.
First off, one of my all-time comedy heroes, Rik Mayall, died aged 56. That man – and the generation of comedians he came up with in the 1980s – shaped my entire sense of humour. As kid I watched everything they produced countless times and Rik Mayall was the funniest person I’d ever seen. That opinion has never changed.
Rik Mayall was a legend and a comedy pioneer. No one anyone else has ever made me laugh as much and as often as Rik did. This weekend I’ll be watching The Young Ones, Comic Strip Presents, Bottom, The New Statesman and Blackadder, so I can relive the genius that was Rik Mayall. He was taken from us all too suddenly and far too soon. Another childhood hero gone. He will be truly missed.
Secondly, on a brighter and less deathy note, I want to give a shout out to all the lads involved with SLTD Radio. This week they’re celebrating two years on the air – which is a great achievement and one they should be really proud of. Keep up the good work lads and congrats on hitting the two year mark.
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Recently the guys in charge of SLTD decided we should all come up with new names for our regular columns and get spiffy new banners to go along with them. This was a great idea because it gave me a chance to do something I always love doing – coming up with names for something that sounds smart and funny the first time you hear it, that gets progressively less smart and less funny the more times you hear it.
My favourite example of this is, of course, The Be Sharps. For those of you who are not educated in the finer side of American culture, that was the name of Homer Simpson’s barber shop quartet. It was with this in mind that I came up with the name Marks for Xcellence. It’s got a double meaning, it’s linked to wrestling and while it sounds smart and funny the first time you hear it, it gets less so as time goes on. It’s perfect.
It took me a while to decide on the name for this column. This was an important decision that couldn’t be rushed. There’s nothing worse for a brand than confusion over a name, or changing the name after you announce it because you realise the name you picked sucks.
I’m still confused if TNA Wrestling changed their company name to IMPACT Wrestling a couple of years ago, or if they just changed the name of the TV show. Then again the TV show was always called IMPACT, so I’m sure they did change the name of the company, at least for a while. In fact their Twitter handle and Facebook page says IMPACT Wrestling, but everyone (including those within the company) still calls them TNA.
See what I mean about causing confusion over a name by changing it? Or maybe I’m just really stupid. Actually, that’s probably the most likely cause for this confusion. Anyway, if I’m picking a name, then I’m sticking with it. So after much deliberation and soul searching, ‘Layin’ the Quackdown’ was born. I don’t know if ‘Layin’ the Quackdown’ is the best thing I’ve ever come up with. It probably is. It makes me laugh anyway, which is the most the important thing.
Anyway, welcome one and welcome all to another exciting edition of ‘Layin’ the Quackdown.’ It’s time for another couple of thousand words of half-baked thoughts and opinions crammed into a column, with all the skill and dexterity of someone hurriedly packing their suitcase on the last day of their summer holiday.
I’ve not watched much wrestling this week. This would usually leave me twitching and jonesing for a decent wrestling hit, but this week it’s actually been nice to step away and watch something other than pro wrestling. The break isn’t self-imposed. I’m not doing one of those wrestling detox programmes that some people do when they just can’t take any more of WWE or TNA’s crap.
My partner-in-crime on MFX, Sir Ian Trumps, is working away from home this week (and recovering from an epic stag weekend in Portugal) so we decided to take the week off from MFX and come back fitter, stronger and more productive next week. With no MFX I decided I could easily take a week off from watching wrestling and recharge my smark batteries.
Instead of avidly watching IMPACT and RAW, I skipped IMPACT completely (which from all reports was a smart move) and I only watched the important parts from RAW. I skipped the other 2 and half hours of product placement, midgets, jobbers and whatever else they use to fill time. Probably something like Damien Sandow dressed up in a stupid costume, in reference to something that only the people in the arena will understand. Hhmmm, entertaining…
With minimal wrestling, I’ve hit Netflix like a mad man. I’ve watched hours of House of Cards (incredible show), Parks and Recreation Season 5 (continues to be the best feel good comedy show on TV), Game of Thrones (the end scene in the fight for Tyrion Lannister’s freedom was SOOOOO eeeewwww I nearly threw up in my mouth), Breaking Bad Season 3 (yes I still haven’t finished watching Breaking Bad – give me a break, I usually have to watch countless hours of wrestling every week). Oh and some UFC and other sports thrown in for good measure.
While I haven’t been avidly watching WWE or TNA, I’ve seen enough to be able to form a few opinions on what’s going on. Whether those opinions are interesting is up to you decide. So let’s get to some wrestling related chat and you can judge me accordingly.
The two biggest stories in WWE recently were Seth Rollins turning heel on The Shield and Daniel Bryan being stripped of the WWE Title due to injury. The Rollins turn was really interesting in terms of the IWC’s reaction and it got me thinking, do modern wrestling fans still liked to be worked? I’m starting to think we don’t.
There’s no argument that The Shield are the best act WWE have created in years. They’ve been a resounding success. They were over big as heels and faces, they put on incredible matches and all three members have improved and developed in their time in the group. I’m confident all three members of The Shield will have strong singles runs in WWE. Reigns will have the strongest, but Rollins and Ambrose should be top level mainstays for years, if all goes to plan.
Say what you like about The Shield having more legs as an act, you’re probably right. Maybe they could have gone another 6 months as babyfaces. They’d probably have to recycle some feuds and eventually they would run out of steam and we’d get the expected break up of a group that was not as hot as it was at its peak. It could have gone that way. I’m glad it didn’t.
The Shield did what hardly any acts in wrestling ever do – they went out on top. They hadn’t got stale or boring and the fans hadn’t got sick of them. They were riding high and kicking ass and that’s why the turn of Seth Rollins was so shocking, so unforeseen and so well done. It’s also why the initial reaction was to cry and reject it. That’s the usual reaction anyone has to change, especially unexpected change.
There was more to the reaction than just a rejection of change. There’s something different about wrestling fans these days, especially the hardcore fans online. I don’t think we like getting worked anymore. I don’t think we like to be surprised.
It’s such a weird dynamic. As fans we complain that wrestling is too predictable these days and yet when something unpredictable and exciting happens, we instantly complain it was a mistake and want everything to go back to the way it was. I’m thinking of the Rollins turn and Undertaker losing at Wrestlemania as two recent examples of this, there’s tons of others but I can’t be arsed to list them.
We live in the instant communication age. We’re the spoiler generation. We want to know everything that’s happening and we want to know now and before the guy next to us finds out. We also think we know everything that’s going on in wrestling. Everyone becomes an expert when information is freely available and that’s happened to hardcore fans. We’re all too smart and too cool for school.
When we get worked, we don’t like it. Why? I think it’s got a lot to do with being fooled by something we tend to think we’re smarter than, or something we think we could do a lot better than those currently doing it. Fantasy bookers I’m looking at you.
The generation of fans who have grown up reading spoilers and thinking they’re a shit lot smarter about wrestling than they are (and before you all start crying about it, I include myself in this too), can’t handle being worked. There’s an instant need to find fault in what’s happened, to point out the flaws, the logic holes, the timing issues – whatever it might be. If something unexpected happens, most fans online respond by rejecting it.
No one can deny that Rollins turning heel got people talking. It’s also freshened up the WWE main event scene and it’s opened up a whole world of possible storyline directions for Rollins, Reigns, Ambrose, Orton, HHH and others. Isn’t that exactly what a good heel turn should do?
Of course it could all go to hell in a hand basket if WWE don’t follow up on the turn correctly, but just talking in terms of a shocking moment that no one saw coming, I think the Rollins turn played to perfection. I was shocked and upset that this could happen and I never saw it coming. WWE worked me to perfection. Well played sirs. Just don’t screw this up!
The news that Daniel Bryan can’t compete at the MITB PPV and has been stripped of the WWE Title was not unexpected. I’m not sure how anyone could think you could come back to wrestling from any kind of neck surgery (non-invasive or not) within a month. I guess WWE were hoping that Bryan would be able to compete. When it became obvious he couldn’t, they decided they MUST have a WWE Champion and he MUST defend his Title on every PPV show. Fair enough, most people would agree with that.
Even if you agree that WWE had to make this move, it doesn’t lessen the sadness of Bryan’s situation. Two months after the biggest moment of his life at Wrestlemania 30 and he’s now lost his Dad, his Title and now his health appears to be an even bigger concern that first thought. While I’m loathed to believe everything I read online, most reputable sources are reporting that his physical condition hasn’t improved since surgery and is actually worsening.
Where this leaves WWE and who will be the next WWE Champion is anyone’s guess. Reactionary panic marks will scream about John Cena becoming WWE Champion as the end of days. Hopeful smarks will cry it’s time for someone new – Bray or Cesaro – and call for WWE to give them the ball and let them run with it.
Whoever becomes WWE Champion at MITB is hopefully only going to be holding the Title until Bryan makes his triumphant return and we get the much talked about main event at Summerslam between Bryan and Brock Lesnar for the WWE Title. Although with Bryan’s physical condition and the general feeling that perhaps WWE will use this as a chance to move him back down the card (which would be madness, they kept Austin hot as hell when he couldn’t work after Owen Hart broke his neck in 1997), that dream match with Brock could remain a dream for a while longer.
The big news in TNA this week, apart from a horrendous TV show and some truly pathetic crowd numbers at their house shows – two shows this week barely drew 200 fans and one of them was in an arena set up for 6,500 – was the news that MVP injured his knee while working in the UK and may not be able to compete against Eric Young for the TNA World Title at the Slammiversary PPV this weekend.
I’m not a fan of TNA these days. I’ve actually had to unfollow a few people on Twitter who just incessantly and blindly defend TNA in the face of so much evidence that they are doing so much wrong as a wrestling promotion. I can’t have that level of ignorance and ill informed opinion in my face all day. I get enough of that from myself, I don’t need TNA marks adding to it.
That said, I don’t want to see TNA fail and I don’t want to see someone who works for them getting hurt. Unless it’s Vince Russo tripping over his own massively over inflated sense of self-importance. I’d pay cash money for that show.
The MVP injury raises an interesting question about TNA’s cost saving measure of taping their shows so far in advance. The show that airs this week was taped weeks ago and won’t be able to address MVP’s injured knee or make alternative plans for the PPV main event. If MVP can’t compete, they’re going to have to book their way out of the problem on the night.
While there’s not a great deal of difference in the ratings between a live IMPACT and a taped show, the live shows do give a bit of leeway to change things up should something unforeseen happen (like Punk quitting or Bryan’s injury). TNA don’t have that luxury and it will be interesting to see if they are able to get out of this particular problem logically and in an entertaining fashion. The recent past would say that’s not likely to happen.
Then again, does it really matter when no one is watching? Out of the one million people who watch IMPACT every week in the US, TNA are usually able to convince somewhere between 6,000 and 8,000 of those fans to buy their PPV at $34.95 a pop. Keep in mind TNA don’t release their PPV numbers, so those figures are taken from Wrestling Observer. Even if they’re actually higher or lower by a couple of thousand, that’s still a scarily small number.
It begs the question why TNA still bother with PPV shows. They only run four a year and each show has less and less interest surrounding them. I can’t remember the last time more than a small handful of die-hard TNA fans said they were looking forward to a TNA PPV. The casual wrestling fan is hardly ever convinced by TNA to part with their money for a PPV. Most of them barely know TNA exists and that’s the saddest thing about all of this.
Why is it every time I write something, I always come back to moaning about TNA? Is there something about writing about wrestling that means it’s a natural reaction to find fault with TNA? Must be. Anyway, nothing TNA could do will make me as sad as hearing Rik Mayall died, so at least they’ve got that going for them.
I might not have watched much wrestling this week but that doesn’t mean you can’t chat with me about it (or anything else) on Twitter. You can follow me @MFXDuckman. If you want an audio Duckman experience, then check out MFX for a few hours of silly jokes, impressions, ridiculous tangents and just a little bit of insight into wrestling.
We’ve got our pop culture, news, movies and sports show – MFX Unleashed – which goes up at the start of the week. Then our wrestling show is available on either Thursday or Friday, depending on work schedules. Check out the MFX page here, or go to www.mfxpodcast.com and become the latest member of the ever growing MFX Galaxy.
As always, thanks for reading and be sure to keep supporting everyone who contributes to SLTD.
Until next time…
Peace
Duckman
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