Duckman – Layin’ the Quackdown: A Whole Lot of Nothing.
I know it’s only been a couple of weeks, but it’s damn good to be back. As I mentioned in my last article, my brother Martin was recently diagnosed with a brain tumour, which required an operation to remove it. As you’ll appreciate, this horrible news really put into focus what’s important in life. Ranting and raving on the internet about pretend fighting hasn’t been high on my list of priorities lately.
The good news is Martin had his surgery last Tuesday and it was a success. No complications and his surgeon is very happy with the results. Although he did say it was the largest pituitary gland tumour he’d ever seen. I’m not sure if that’s something to be excited about. The surgeon seemed pretty hyped about it!
Amazingly, Mart was only in hospital from Tuesday to Friday. They thought he’d be in intensive care for a week, maybe longer. In the end he was home within a couple of days. I’m not sure I’d have recovered so quickly. In fact, given I’ve been known to take an afternoon off work because I’ve spun around in my chair too much and got dizzy, it’s safe to say if it was me, I’d still be hospital right now!
My brother is as strong as an Ox, brave as hell and determined to stay positive and recover fully. To say he’s an inspiration to me would be as big an understatement as saying, “Jennifer Lawrence will be a little bit miffed about those pictures.” You only realise someone’s true character when it’s tested in the most extreme way. Mart has passed this test with flying colours.
I’d like to give a shout out to everyone who has contacted me over the last few weeks with well-wishes for Martin and general positive messages of support. Everyone has been really cool and every message has been gratefully received. You guys rock and you have no idea how much your support means to us. Thank you.
Now that Martin is on the road to recovery – a long and difficult road, but one he’s going to get to the end of – I’ve got more time and energy to devote to ranting and raving on the internet about pretend fighting. The only problem is, I haven’t watched RAW or IMPACT in two weeks.
I’ve kept up with what is happening (basically nothing in either company) but I’ve not actually seen any of it. All I know is RAW last week was so boring my brother fell asleep while fast forwarding through the show.
Now, it had only been a week since he had brain surgery, so perhaps that had an effect on him? Maybe the trauma of a guy digging around in his skull for an hour was the reason he crashed out during the never ending Brie/Nikki Bella bad acting-off.*
*it’s like a dance-off, except it’s acting and the worst one wins – right now it’s a dead heat.*
You could certainly draw that conclusion, until I tell you that the DAY AFTER he got out of hospital, we went to see Guardians of the Galaxy at the cinema and he sure as hell didn’t fall asleep during that. Nope, it wasn’t the trauma of surgery that exhausted him; it was three hours of RAW…on fast forward. I reckon that says it all about WWE’s creative output since Summerslam.
I haven’t watched IMPACT either, but from the results I’ve read they are in a holding pattern. IMPACT has been consistently good for a few months, but nothing has really progressed or changed, apart from Dixie going through a table. The more I think about it, the more that moment really did feel like the season finale for IMPACT and now they’re just going through the motions. Given the uncertainty surrounding the future of the company, you can understand why they’re taking this approach.
Everyone is waiting for the axe to swing, or the permanent stay of execution to be announced. It can’t be easy to work for a company that you know is on life-support, or plan out TV when you don’t know if the show will air beyond the end of the year. It’s a shame that TNA are in this position in the first place, but they have no one else to blame but themselves.
As I’ve been doing a lot of travelling recently, I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts. I’ve mainly been listening to Jericho and Austin’s shows, both of which I love. I’m almost at the point now where I’m going to unsubscribe from JR’s show. I never thought I’d do that when I first heard he was going to do a podcast.
I’ve been trying to work out why I’ve gone off JR’s show so much. I think I’ve worked out what the problem is: JR’s podcast is the audio equivalent of reading a broadsheet newspaper about wrestling. It’s very detailed and in-depth. It’s almost too serious for its own good. It’s packed full of insight and opinions you don’t get anywhere else. The problem is it’s delivered in a stuffy and formal way and is ultimately really, really boring.
I’m not just talking about JR’s delivery, which appears to be aimed somewhere between ‘just woken up’ and ‘listen to the sound of my voice, you’re feeling very sleepy.’ It’s also the content that leaves me cold.
JR has a bad habit of repeating the same points and arguments over and over again. Such as: he doesn’t like fast moving ROH style matches, there aren’t any real heels in wrestling today, and WWE needs to present its product in a more serious and sports-like way. These are all valid points, but when you hear them for twenty show in a row – and JR always asks his guests if they agree with his main bones of contention with wrestling today – then it gets very boring, very quickly.
It’s just my personal taste, but I much prefer the looser, more informal, conversational style of Austin and Jericho. It’s simple, not preachy, they cover the main points, they give a bit of behind the scenes stuff to keep you interested and everything is much less serious and earnest than JR.
The recent show with Austin interviewing Foley was the perfect show for me. I’ve read all of Foley’s books, I’ve been to see his live show twice, and I’ve heard a lot of his interviews. There isn’t a Foley story I haven’t heard before. Yet during three hours chatting to Austin, none of the tried and tested (and slightly tired) Foley stories surfaced.
Instead the show was a chance to listen in on two good friends, both major stars in the business, with differing points of view and attitudes, discussing tons of interesting topics in a really entertaining and funny way.
For instance, there was a fascinating exchange between Austin and Foley about Zack Ryder and how Foley couldn’t believe Ryder hadn’t asked anyone why his push was botched the way it was. Foley and Austin both had the attitude that if you don’t understand what’s happening with your career, you need to ask questions and stand up for yourself – something that the WWE talent today don’t do (bar a few top guys).
There were also some really funny and warm-hearted exchanges between them that had me actually smiling along like an idiot while I was listening. The whole interview was really fun to listen to and flew past in what felt like a few minutes.
The same is true of Jericho’s recent interviews with Batista and HHH. If you haven’t listened to these you’re missing out on two incredibly interesting conversations. Especially when you hear the differing accounts of how HHH ended up doing a WWE movie that was originally earmarked for Batista.
Jericho’s style is even more laid back than Austin – to the point that you can tell he does zero research on his guests. Most of the time that would be a detriment, but I actually enjoy the surprised and natural responses Jericho gives when he learns something about his guest that everyone else in the world already knows. This happens every couple of minutes. It’s equal parts unprofessional and fun. Which is exactly what I want my podcasts to be.
Away from wrestling podcasts I’ve been catching up on some TV shows. I’m on the penultimate season of Sons of Anarchy (the TV show that we can blame for Aces and Eights) which looks to be heading to a bloody and dramatic conclusion. I’m still working my way through House of Cards season 2 and Breaking Bad (nearly finished season 3). I just finished the first five episodes of the BBC’s Sherlock. I had heard a lot of hype for the show and it really delivers. Plus Doctor Who has returned (written by the same people as Sherlock) and I’ve loved Peter Capaldi as the new Doctor.
My favourite new show, which just finished its first season on Sky Atlantic last week, is the new one from Mike Judge (Beavis and Butthead, King of the Hill, Office Space etc) called Silicone Valley.
It’s kind of like a much ruder and much funnier version of The Big Bang Theory. Lots of nerd humour and concepts, it’s based around internet start-up companies and the highs and lows of that industry. It is also laugh out loud funny. The back and forth between the four main characters is tight and all four characters get a chance to shine during the season. Although I have to admit, Erlich is my favourite and his tripping on magic mushrooms scene in an early episode is ridiculously funny.
In the final episode, there’s a joke about how long it would take Erlich to jack off a room full of men, that ends up being one of the funniest computer coding and calculus jokes I’ve ever seen. It’s equal parts stupidly crude and brain meltingly smart. I laughed so much that I had to rewind it to catch about five other jokes I missed! Silicon Valley is one of the funniest shows on TV this year. Go check it out!
I suppose I should cover a few wrestling stories before I wrap this up. First off some positive news. Brie Bella mentioned in a recent interview that Daniel Bryan won’t need a second surgery. Instead he’ll be undertaking intense physiotherapy and other rehab to restore full strength in his right arm.
She announced that Bryan could be back in the ring in around 3 months – which would be just in time for the Royal Rumble. Let’s hope this is how it all pans out. The sooner Bryan gets back on WWE TV the better. Bryan coming back to challenge Brock Lesnar would be definitely bump those Network subscriptions up by a few thousand. The babyface side of the roster is so thin and the lack of depth in the WWE Title scene is scary.
So scary in fact, that I’ve heard rumours Big Show is next in line for Brock Lesnar after Night of Champions. This makes no sense. Big Show has zero credibility as a threat to Brock (Brock already killed him dead at the Royal Rumble). He’s also the guy who spent weeks crying at how mean HHH and Steph were towards him. Brock Lesnar does not lose to any man, let alone one who cries like a little bitch all the time.
Rumours abound that Bully Ray will soon sign a new deal with TNA. I guess the offers from Vince that he said he’d take up, “in a heartbeat” didn’t materialise. Bully would be a solid addition to the WWE roster, not a game changer, but someone who could make a good run towards the top of the card. His value to TNA is huge (top talent, agent, contributor to the booking team). I hope Bully signs a new contract with them. TNA need him a shit lot more than WWE do.
Let’s wrap this up with a question. It’s a question that has been on my mind for months – what exactly is Global Force Wrestling? This is a serious question. I keep seeing press releases, short videos on social media, and Jeff Jarrett joining The Bullet Club in NJPW (they really did kill all the coolness that stable had) but I still have no clue what GFW is.
Is it a promotion? Is it a governing body for indy promotions? A sort of indy NWA? At the moment GFW seems to consist of pictures of Jeff and Karen and a list of wrestling promotions – two of which I’ve actually heard of and a lot of fluffy marketing speak about shit that doesn’t exist. Never mind announcing a TV deal Jeff, how about announcing what GFW actually is?
Ok, that’ll do for this week. Granted, that was a whole lot of nothing, but it’s just nice to be able to think about something other than hospitals and my brother being ill. The distraction of ranting and raving on the internet about pretend fighting is exactly what the doctor ordered.
If you’re so inclined, you can follow me on Twitter which is @MFXDuckman. Seeing as how I’ve gone on about other podcasts, give mine a listen and see if I have any idea what I’m talking about (hint: I don’t). Check out the MFX Podcast page on this site, or head over to www.mfxpodcast.com and check out over 100 shows we’ve done to date.
Unfortunately there isn’t a new show this week and probably won’t be for the rest of the month. I had to take a few weeks off from the show because of the situation with my brother. My partner-in-crime on MFX, Sir Ian Trumps, now has to take a few weeks off as he’s moving house and going on holiday.
Fear not though true believers, MFX will return as soon as possible (probably mid-October) and when we do, we’ll be even more entertaining and insightful than normal. In fact, I promise you all 25% more entertainment and 30% more insight on our first show back.
***MFX lawyers note: any promise made by Duckman is not a binding agreement or contract and may not be founded upon in future listening experience which may, in fact, not provide the percentages mentioned.***
As always, thanks for reading and keep supporting SLTD and all the great contributors here.
Until next time…
Peace
Duckman
Recent Comments