WrestleMania In-Depth: Brock Lesnar vs The Undertaker – Predictions

You’re going to read a lot of clichés this week: we’re in the home stretch; the anticipation has built to breaking point; the road to WrestleMania has reached its final destination.  Shit like that.  They’re clichés because they’re true.  We are in the home stretch.  The anticipation has built to breaking point (kind of) and yes, the road to WrestleMania has finally reached its destination.

As I write this it’s three days until WrestleMania 30 in New Orleans and just like every year, I have that deep seated and gnawing jealousy towards anyone who is going to the show.

I’ve made a promise to myself that in the next three years I’m going to WrestleMania.  Given my usual luck, that means WWE will come to an end around thirty seconds after I buy my ticket to the show.  Or my plane will end up on the moon, alongside that missing Malaysian jet and that bus full of Nuns.

I know for some people it doesn’t feel like WrestleMania season.  I know for some people they aren’t excited or interested by the show this Sunday.  That’s cool.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and no one can force you to like something you don’t.

Every year WrestleMania becomes more and more like Christmas for smarks.  There’s weeks of anticipation before the big day.  You usually get together with a bunch of friends or family.  There’s excessive eating and drinking.  Then when it’s all over, you realise it was never as good as you remember it when you were a kid.

Personally,  I’m going to mark out like a little bitch about WrestleMania 30 and I’m going to assume you are all too.  If you aren’t, fair play to you, but you’re missing out on a lot of fun and the crowning moment of Daniel Bryan’s wrestling career.

I probably have a stronger affinity to WrestleMania than some people because it’s become an annual tradition for me to head across the country to my brother’s house and watch the show with him.  In the last three years his son Eoin has joined our tradition.

The last couple of years Eoin didn’t really care about the show, the only thing he took a real interest in last year was Undertaker’s entrance and what kind of crisps we’d got him.  I’m hoping this year, as he’s a little bit older, he’ll pay more attention and start on the life-long path to becoming an uber wrestling nerd, just like his Dad and his Uncle.

Watching WrestleMania with my brother and Eoin is so much fun and is one of the highlights of the year for me.  I don’t get to see my brother very often these days and we’re really close.  So over the last few years we’ve make an effort to get time off work and watch the show together.

We shoot the shit about wrestling and life in general, reminisce about the old days, laugh our asses off and mark out like little kids while watching The Showcase of The Immortals (told you there’d be clichés).  Granted, it usually costs me a fortune in hotel costs and beer, but fuck it man, it’s WrestleMania!

I’m all set for WrestleMania 30.  I’ve booked my hotel.  My time off work is confirmed.  My bag is packed and I’m ready to tune in, disappear from the drudgery of life for a few hours and see just what that crazy old bastard Vince McMahon and his cohorts have got lined up for us this year.

Those of you who have been paying attention will know that this is the third and final article in my WrestleMania In-Depth series.  I’ve been taking a forensic level look at one of the main events of WrestleMania 30: The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar.

This last article is going to wrap up everything in a nice neat package, throw in a few predictions for the match and probably gush a bit more about how excited I am for WrestleMania 30.  That said, my excitement for WrestleMania itself doesn’t hide the fact that I’ve been scarily underwhelmed by the build-up to Taker vs. Brock.

Considering how much hype, interest and importance WWE and their fans put into The Undertaker’s undefeated streak at WrestleMania, it’s amazing how unimportant this match feels.  The build-up has been such boring and by the numbers bullshit.  It’s seriously dented my interest in the match.

There was a lot I expected from this feud.  I expected intensity.  I expected Brock Lesnar to be booked as strongly as possible.  I expected the storied history between them (both inside and outside the ring) to be at least be mentioned in passing.  I expected to feel like The Streak could be in jeopardy.   None of that has happened.

When a man is supposed to an unstoppable killing machine, with a legitimate fighting background and a history as one of the most impactful and successful WWE stars of all time, you expect him to be presented as such.  Instead Brock Lesnar is a coward, who is frightened of pyro, Paul Daniels level magic tricks involving coffins and worst of all – he can’t gain a physical advantage without some kind of distraction.

The Undertaker hasn’t been presented as the legendary gun slinger with only a few fights left in him, who is defending his legacy from a relentless and animalist monster.  Instead he’s rocking Just For Men hair dye, eye liner, has stolen Sin Cara’s blue light and instead of selling anything Brock has done or might do, he’s talked in cryptic riddles and honestly, he’s just been a bit boring.

Taker is a legend.  He’s one of my favourite wrestlers of all time.  His WrestleMania match should be important.  It should be presented as something special.  And it should also make you feel like this year is the year The Streak ends.

Unfortunately WWE have gone completely away from this and Undertaker’s return hasn’t felt special.  The match between him and Brock isn’t highly anticipated and no one feels like this year is the year The Streak ends.  No one.  At least no one who studies wrestling intently or who would fit the definition of a ‘hardcore fan.’  I’d guess everyone reading this fits into that definition nicely.

Not surprisingly, the fans at RAW this week were really into the confrontation between Taker and Brock.  Maybe they were just desperate to see something other than a promo take place between Taker and Heyman?  Of course they were, because this angle has needed physicality and real heat, not theatrics and long winded promos.

All that whining and negativity aside, I’m actually looking forward to the match.  No, seriously I am.  Not because I believe Brock might end The Streak, or because WWE have got me whipped into a frenzy to see these two monsters clash.  I just love watching Brock Lesnar work and every year The Undertaker defies time, injuries and ridiculously high fan expectations to put on the best match possible at WrestleMania.

I love watching Brock Lesnar work because he is so different from anyone else in WWE.  He’s believable.  He’s dangerous.  He’s a wrecking machine that comes in and fights you.  You always feel that with Brock something could snap at any time and then shit could get really interesting.

Of course he won’t, the man is a professional, but he works in such a way that you believe something off script could happen – and that belief is what makes Brock Lesnar different and special.

When Brock Lesnar works he doesn’t hold back.  His selling is incredible for a guy his size.  He takes bumps that someone with his size of bank account and star status really doesn’t have to take.  While Brock looks like a reckless killer, he’s also one of the best at making his opponent look good.

The Undertaker has one match a year and for the last five years it’s been in the running for the Match of the Year or taken the award outright.  Considering his match happens in March or April, that says a lot for how good the matches have been.

That success isn’t down to guys carrying The Undertaker, far from it.  Despite his age and his injuries, he always delivers on the biggest stage of them all.  This year I don’t expect those standards to slip (as long as his body holds up).  Whether or not he can keep going at that level for much longer is a question for another day.

It’ll be interesting to see how this match plays out.  Given the build-up you’d expect a lot of no-selling and lightning bolts.  I don’t see it going that way.

Taker has been a huge fan of MMA for a long time.  He’s even spoken about how if the UFC was around 20 years ago, he would have chosen that as a career path instead of professional wrestling.  Everyone knows Brock’s history in the UFC and how he has incorporated submissions, knee strikes and other MMA techniques into his pro wrestling arsenal.

At WrestleMania 30 I expect both men to bring these MMA elements to the table.  I don’t think this is going to be a wrestling match in the traditional style.  This is going to be a knockdown, drag out, intense and violent fight.

I’m hoping that they get at least twenty minutes to work their magic and I’m hoping the crowd in New Orleans are able to ignore the piss poor build-up and instead just enjoy the brutal spectacle I expect this match to be.

I think we can safely say that these two men are going to beat the shit out of each other.  The pace will be deliberate.  I expect to see Brock take control for most of the match, before they trade plenty of kick outs of big moves and finally The Undertaker secures the hard fought win with either the Hell’s Gate choke, or more likely The Tombstone.  Come on, it is WrestleMania after all, we need at least one Tombstone!

As this is the last in the WrestleMania In-Depth series, Gary Behan (who is one third of the SLTD WrestleMania In-Depth team with Adam O’Brien and I) made the suggestion that we should give predictions for each other’s matches.

So in keeping with Gary’s suggestion, here’s some predictions from the rest of Team SLTD on Brock vs. Taker:

Adam O’Brien:

“Anyone with a decent helping of common sense knows that The Undertaker isn’t losing here. But while the match result may be predictable, that doesn’t mean the match itself isn’t going to impress. The Undertaker and Brock Lesnar are both fully capable of telling a great story when they step in the ring, and this Sunday will be no different.

Brock Lesnar is going to dominate the majority of the contest, likely putting the Deadman through the Spanish announce table, locking him in the Kimura and even nailing him with an F-5 or two for good measure. But in the end, Lesnar will be merely another statistic, becoming the 22nd victim to The Undertaker’s fury at WrestleMania.”

George Cushnie:

“I think a lot of people misjudge the Brock Lesnar we see today, or confuse him with the guy that was around 10 years ago. Today’s Brock Lesnar is a fighter, not a wrestler, so we shouldn’t judge him as such. Lesnar’s a war machine. He just goes in there, looks as if he’s properly fucking people up, then leaves. Of course, in an ideal world, he wouldn’t have been jobbed out to Cena at ER 2012, making this Streak vs. Streak, but that’s a story for another time. Expect there to be plenty of ringside brawling, possibly including a few table spots thrown in for good measure, resulting in Taker extending his Streak to 22-0. It won’t be pretty, but it’ll be a great fight.”

Bryan Rose:

“I think Undertaker is going to win. I don’t see any other finish. Brock to me isn’t the guy to beat the Undertaker. In fact, if anyone needs to beat the Undertaker it is someone who is a rising star and could add to their legacy by beating Undertaker in his final match. I know there are people out there that thinks it’s crazy the Undertaker could ever lose at Wrestlemania, and if he never lost that would be fine, the streak can stand as is. But there’s someone out there, I don’t know who, who can benefit from a loss. Brock Lesnar isn’t the right choice to beat Undertaker in this situation, though. He’s established and can lose- after all, he has to Triple H and Cena. No reason Undertaker can’t beat Brock here”

Gary Behan:

“I’ve never been excited by the idea of Brock vs Taker because as much of a beast as Brock is, I can’t fathom a scenario where he ends the streak.

I see Taker being dominated for most of the match only to come back in the final few minutes to counter a Kimura lock into a Hells Gate for the win.

I also see Sting possibly making an appearance in the rafters after the match to set up WM31 but that’s just a dream / long shot!”

So there you have it.  While no one expects a Brock Lesnar win, they do expect to see a great match and more importantly, a different match from what will be on the rest of the Wrestlemania 30 card.  It also goes to show how popular Taker at WrestleMania is when people are already predicting who his opponent next year will be!

I want to give a special shout out to Adam and Gary for their excellent articles as part of the WrestleMania In-Depth series.  I didn’t really understand how challenging this would be but these guys have made it look effortless (those talented bastards).  If you haven’t already, do yourself a favour and check out all their articles, they put in a ton of work and deserve a few minutes of your time.

Also got to give a nod to George for his amazing series of articles over the past month reviewing EVERY WRESTLEMANIA from 1 to 29.  That was a Herculean effort from George, especially Wrestlemania 11 to 14.  Those must have been a struggle to get through.

Again, if you haven’t read his articles, stop being a dick and go do it.  George works his ass off for this site and it’s been his efforts, ideas and organisation that has made the SLTD coverage of WrestleMania 30 so tremendous.  Cheers George, you’ve earned your holiday after ‘Mania!

In fact, everyone who has written about WrestleMania here for the last month should be very proud of the effort you’ve put in and the work you’ve produced.  The last month proves that the future of SLTD is bright and in good hands.

The next time you hear from me, WrestleMania 30 will have come and gone, the initial subscription numbers for the WWE Network will have been released, and the usual incredibly heated and fun post-Mania Monday Night RAW will have probably made a star of some jobber for a couple of weeks.  Hey Fandango, how’s it going?

If you’re into all that Twitter nonsense, you can follow me @MFXDuckman where you can find more marking out over WrestleMania.  Plus a sneak peak at the plans for what kind of snack perfection my brother and I will be preparing to accompany too many beers and four hours of WWE’s biggest show of the year.

If you want to hear a preview of WrestleMania 30, along with a review of RAW and loads of jokes that will make you crap your pants with laughter, check out MFX83.   You can find the link on the MFX page here, or hit www.mfxpodcast.  We’re also on Stitcher and ITunes.  So you’ve got no excuse not to listen!

As always, thanks for reading.  If you watch Wrestlemania 30 I hope you enjoy the show.  If you don’t watch it, I hope you’ll kick yourself for missing the high point of Daniel Bryan’s WWE career.  Oh and if he doesn’t win the WWE Title on Sunday, feel free to rip the shit out of me for as long as you like!

Until next time…

Peace

Duckman