It’s WrestleMania! THE BIGGEST SHOW OF THE YEAR! How exciting…
Tonight, all the major storylines of the last few months culminate here. Will Daniel Bryan get his big moment tonight? Who will win the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal? Can AJ survive the odds? Can John Cena topple Bray Wyatt? Will Triple H add one more to the graveyard? Will the internet rage and hijack Raw for real tomorrow? Tons of questions here that will be answered tonight.
Without any further ado, let’s start the recap of the THIRTIETH WRESTLEMANIA! (Not the 30th anniversary – that’s next year, but WWE seems to ignore that…)
Pre-Show: Tag-Team Elimination Match for the WWE Tag-Team Championships: The Real Americans vs Los Matadores vs Rybaxel vs The Usos
Axel and one of the Usos start things off, but the Matadores are soon tagged in. Matadores take control and work over both members of the Real Americans, and take out all the participants on the outside, hitting stereo forearms. Torito was about to go to the top rope, but Axel cut him off. He goes to the top, but Matadores cut him off. They hold Axel and Torito crossbodies him, causing Axel to collide with everyone on the floor. Swagger grabs one of the Matadores off the top rope and locks in the Patriot Lock. The Matadores are eliminated.
One of the Usos is back in and works over Swagger, but Axel cuts him off. Rybaxel work over the fallen Uso. As Ryback has the Uso in a rest hold, there was a “REST HOLD” sign in the crowd. Well, he’s right! Fresh Uso is tagged in. That’s how Cole described it, he doesn’t even know which Uso is which. Uso dominated but Ryback cuts him off. Ryback looks to put Swagger in the Shellshock, but Cesaro saves him. Ryback grabs Cesaro and throws him into the ring, but Cesaro lifts him up, uppercuts him, and hits the Neutralizer for the pinfall.
Cesaro dominates the Usos, including putting one in a Giant Swing, but the Uso counters. However, Swagger gets caught with a crossbody for a nearfall. Swagger puts the Uso in the Patriot Lock, but soon it turns into an affray, with everyone laying each other out. Swagger and one of the Usos are in the ring. Cesaro makes it to the apron as he and the other Uso are tagged in. Cesaro looks out of it as the Usos hit stereo splashes and pin him.
Awesome opener with tons of fun spots and nice heat – ****
Swagger and Cesaro exchange words after the match. Swagger is ready to go off on Cesaro, but Zeb tries to reconcile. Swagger puts him in the Patriot Lock. Zeb quickly tells him to back off and shake his hand. He offers his hand, and Cesaro goes to accept. Instead, he grabs him and puts him in a Giant Swing, ending their team. Maybe. The announcers treated this as if Zeb had some work to do to reconcile them. Nothing’s ever absolute in WWE, is it?
Now, for the actual show!
Hulk Hogan kicks off WrestleMania! He immediately calls the Superdome the Silverdome. Twice. OOPS. He corrects himself as suddenly the glass shatters and Stone Cold Steve Austin arrives.
He wants to know if people want him to kick the crap out of Hulk Hogan. The crowd says hell yeah, but Steve says he respects Hogan and doesn’t want to kick his ass – he wants to see today’s WWE superstars come out here and do their thing.
This brings out The Rock. He does his catchphrases and says it’s been an honour to face both of them – his friend and his childhood hero at WrestleManias. He hypes up tonight’s main-events. It ends with them all saying their catchphrases and making sure they say SUPERDOME. They all hug each other and start drinking some beer. Hell yeah!
This was a really cool segment.
A Daniel Bryan video package airs. They’re starting off Mania with this one. That’s…really weird.
Daniel Bryan vs Triple H
Stephanie (in an interesting outfit) announces Triple H, who comes out with dramatic music, a throne, and a skeleton-like crown. It was pretty cool. Triple H starts off with a handshake. He just wants to have a fun grappling contest! Bryan, however, feels otherwise and kicks Triple H’s hand, getting a quick two from a roll-up.
It’s back and forth early. Triple H mostly works on the bum arm Bryan got from the beatdown a few weeks ago. Bryan sends Triple H to the floor and flies off the apron with a tornado DDT. He then flies off with a senton outside on Triple H. Bryan goes to the top again, but Triple H hits the ropes and traps Bryan, then hits a shot that sends Bryan to the floor.
Triple H tears off the table and goes for a Pedigree, but Bryan blocks it – only for Triple H to counter and leave him out. Triple H isolates him on the outside, trying to get a count-out victory for some reason? Bryan eventually makes it back to the ring, but Triple H works over the bum arm some more.
Bryan fights back and builds some momentum with two German suplexes. Triple H blocks the third and hits a tiger suplex. Triple H gets him to the top rope, but Bryan blocks and hits a sunset flip. Bryan starts another comeback, but gets taken out with a huge clothesline. Bryan blocks another Pedigree attempt and goes for a headbutt which Triple H blocks with a knee to the face.
Triple H works on a Crossface and gets it locked in for quite a while. Bryan counters with the Yes Lock. Triple H squirms for quite a while, then escapes from the ring. Bryan follows with two suicide dives before taking Triple H back in the ring. Bryan goes for the flying knee, but Triple H cuts him off and gives him a Pedigree. Bryan kicks out, avoids another Pedigree, then hits the flying knee strike for the victory.
Great technical match with some great heat towards the end – ****¼
Stephanie comes to the ring afterwards and starts slapping Bryan. It’s a distraction as Triple H lays him out, and attacks Bryan with a chairshot to the injured shoulder. The odds are stacked even more against poor Daniel Bryan tonight.
The Shield vs Kane and the New Age Outlaws
Kane and Ambrose start things off, but not for long. Reigns comes in and lays out the Outlaws. He can’t take out Kane however, but Rollins does. The rest of the match sees the Shield just destroying them with a double triple-powerbomb to the Outlaws, before Reigns spears Kane.
Looks like someone’s time got annihilated – **
Slam City commercial. Hacksaw, Steamboat and Sgt Slaughter were playing. Dangerous Danny Davis was the ref. Yes. Ted DiBiase came and bought the toys. Ron Simmons said “Damn!” afterwards.
Geek…erm, I mean…Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
No one got entrances except Big Show and Sheamus. Everyone else is a geek. Guys who haven’t been on any WWE programing in months – such as David Otunga, Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel – were there. For some reason, Cesaro was in this.
Yoshi Tatsu got eliminated almost immediately. Dude…just leave. It’s not worth it. Fandango got some offense in and people were actually Fandangoing. What geeks…
Mysterio and Cesaro trade some offense. I was hoping for a Giant Swing, but alas, it wasn’t to be! Kofi gets thrown over to the floor, but his feet touch the steps, thereby saving him from elimination. That’s better than the one at the Rumble to be honest. Cesaro and Big Show were the last two. Big Show nearly eliminates him, but Cesaro hits the uppercut, lifts him up and eliminates him for the victory.
The latter half was pretty fun – ***¼
Bray Wyatt vs John Cena
The band that plays Bray Wyatt’s music plays his song as he comes out. No fancy entrance for Cena this year.
Wyatt gets down on his knees and demands Cena finishes him. Cena doesn’t play that game. Wyatt storms to him, only for Cena to take him down. There’s a lot of uninteresting back and forth early. Harper and Rowan try to interfere, but Wyatt orders them to stay down. There’s some rest holds as the crowd becomes kind of uninterested in the whole deal.
Cena starts a comeback, which the crowd boos. As he goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Wyatt gets up and does the crab walk. Wyatt takes control, but Cena fires back with a DDT. He flies off the top rope. Wyatt counters with a powerbomb to get a two count. Cena fights back, does his comeback, and goes for the AA, but an exchange of counters leads to Wyatt hitting a DDT on the apron. The fans sway their hands, so I guess the next thing will be Wyatting?
Wyatt gets Cena to the top rope. Cena fights back and headbutts Wyatt off the top rope, then launches off, taking out Harper and Rowan outside with a crossbody. Wyatt takes the fallen Cena and throws him into the steps. He looks to use them again, but Cena fights back and looks to use the steps himself but remember…he’s not the monster that Bray is, so he relents.
Wyatt fights back. He misses a splash that leads Cena hitting the AA. He only gets a two count though. Harper smacks Cena, allowing Wyatt to hit the big splash for a nearfall. Cena’s thrown out of the ring by Wyatt, and replies by spearing Harper through the guardrail. Wyatt throws him back in and prepares for the Sister Abigail, which Cena counters into the STF. Wyatt grabs the ropes.
Wyatt hits the Sister Abigail, but only gets a two count. Wyatt exits the ring and grabs a chair. He kicks it to Cena, telling him to finish him again. He hits Rowan with the chair instead, then pins Wyatt after an AA.
I think Wyatt’s over enough that he doesn’t need a Cena win. It’s fine. Won’t stop all of the internet saying otherwise though! – ***¼
Hall of Fame time. Everyone got nice applause. Warrior came out to his music last and everyone applauded. Not much else to it.
The Undertaker vs Brock Lesnar
Undertaker got his long entrance. Caskets were shown with the names of people he’s beaten over the years. Zero footage of Punk. For a dead guy, Undertaker looks to be the most tanned guy in the building. I thought Vince McMahon wanted natural tans now?
Back and forth early. Taker hits Snake Eyes and goes for a Chokeslam early. Lesnar replies by teasing the F5, but Taker blocks it. Brock lays him out and starts to work on him. This is pretty boring. Ironically, Undertaker finally breathes life into the match with a DDT. He follows with a big boot. He locks in Hell’s Gate, but Lesnar counters with a powerbomb. The same spot happens again.
Lesnar puts Taker in the Kimura Lock. Taker reverses it, but Lesnar grabs the ropes. Taker then goes for Old School, which Lesnar counters with an F5 for a nearfall. A few German suplexes by Lesnar lead to some punches in the corner, but Undertaker grabs him and gives him the Last Ride. He signals for the Tombstone and hits it, only for Lesnar to kick out. There’s another Tombstone attempt. Lesnar counters into a third F5 and…pins the Undertaker. Yes. The Streak is over.
Too long and no-one bought anything, until that finish – **3/4
The crowd were stunned by this. Lesnar was stunned. Heyman was stunned. I was stunned. 21-1 was displayed, which made me laugh for some reason. Long silence. All the announcers applaud the Undertaker as he slowly gets out of the ring and walks to the back. Looks to be his retirement. Wow…
Vickie Guerrero Invitational for the WWE Divas Championship
Slap yourself if you think anyone other than AJ Lee got an entrance. Vickie wishes everyone good luck in the shrillest voice possible. I won’t recap this extensively.
Somehow, a bunch of Divas disappeared. Tamina goes for a splash, but Naomi kicks her off. Aksana grabs her, only for Natalya to powerbomb her whilst suplexing Tamina. AJ catches Naomi in the Black Widow and she taps out. AJ somehow survived!
Whatever – *
Hulk Hogan is interviewed by Mean Gene. Hogan suddenly asks “what are you two doing here”? Orndorff and Piper arrive. Orndorff has a terrific moustache. This leads to Hogan and Mr T confronting them. Hogan wants everyone to make up, and they eventually do, with Piper being extremely reluctant.
Triple-Threat Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs Daniel Bryan vs Batista
Rev Theory play Randy Orton’s theme as he comes out. Bryan’s heavily favouring the arm.
Bryan starts off hot early, but Orton immediately starts working on the arm. Batista and Orton work over one another as they brawl to the outside. Batista looks to Batista Bomb Orton on the steps. Orton counters with a back bodydrop. They eventually get back to the ring. Bryan bounces back with a double missile dropkick, then begins kicking both Orton and Batista. He takes Batista out, only to turn around into an exploder.
The crowd’s been cold since the Taker match but they’re getting back into Bryan’s offense.
Batista attacks Bryan. Bryan strikes back with some more offense. There’s a “Roids and skinny jeans” sign. That’s not nice! Bryan gets the Yes Lock applied, but suddenly, Triple H and Stephanie arrive.
Triple H pulls the ref out of the ring and orders Scott Armstrong – who screwed Daniel Bryan last year the last time he won the WWE Championship – and orders him to count after a Batista Bomb. Bryan lays out Armstrong, then hits a suicide dive which takes out both members of the Authority. Triple H enters the ring with a sledgehammer. Bryan kicks him, then blasts him with the sledgehammer. He rolls up Batista, but Orton breaks it up and takes him to the outside.
Orton removes the strapping that’s covering Bryan’s injury, and hits him with the steel steps as the Authority are escorted backstage. It looks like Orton and Batista are working together. Batista prepares the announce tables to lay out Bryan. Batista and Orton do a Batista Bomb into an RKO that sends both Orton AND Bryan crashing through one of the tables. Wow!
Medics check on Bryan as Batista continues to nail Orton. Orton springs to life and hits a draping DDT on the outside. Meanwhile, Bryan’s being escorted out. He refuses assistance and crawls back to the ring instead! However, Orton sees him and throws him into the steps before rolling him back into the ring.
Orton motions for the RKO, but Bryan locks in the Yes Lock, only for Batista to break it. Bryan puts Batista in the Yes Lock, but Orton breaks it this time. Bryan gets up and nails Orton with a running knee strike, only for Batista to deliver a Batista Bomb. Bryan manages to hit him with a knee strike and puts him the Yes Lock. Batista taps, and Daniel Bryan wins the WWE World Heavyweight Championship!
Dramatic, fun match – ****¼
There’s pyro and fanfare galore as Daniel Bryan finally wins the title. He holds up both belts as a bunch of people chant Yes. A long celebration closes out WrestleMania.
SUMMARY: A very good show. Overall, better than other WrestleManias and easily the best WWE PPV in months. Everything ran from solid to great, from the opener to the main-event. They ended up not doing a swerve for the sake of it, which is all we can be thankful for at this point.
It’ll be interesting to see the Authority’s response to this tomorrow. There’s also the fact that the Streak was ended. I’ll do a column in the future about that, but let’s just say I don’t think there was one person who wasn’t stunned that it actually happened, and nobody thought Lesnar would be the one who ended it.
A very fun and newsworthy show.
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