I mentioned on Twitter on Monday that this Raw would be one to remember, good or bad. Unfortunately, it ended up being the latter. Yes, the opening segment was the ultimate form of trolling and Heyman was awesome, and The Shield vs The Wyatts was even more amazing than it was at the Chamber, but outside of that, there were no redeeming qualities.
I’m keeping this short this week because I have a lot of real world stuff going on and as I mentioned above, there wasn’t much good to talk about.
The Heyman Troll
A lot of people are calling the opening segment of Raw this the “best in years”. I hate to burst their bubble, but it really wasn’t.
Heyman was awesome and all, but he didn’t say anything he didn’t say last year when Punk was away, and Punk didn’t return at all, despite what people thought (and in some cases reported). I have to wonder if this was done as a middle finger to the fans, or as a pathetic attempt to appease them.
I know Heyman loves Punk in real life and is probably one of the only people who knows what Punk is doing right now, but he works for WWE, so he was told to do this. He didn’t just come out and start talking. This was unnecessary, and personally, I did NOT appreciate it. Either bring Punk back, or ignore it and put up with the crowd.
The only thing that saved it was that Heyman brought it all back around to the impending Lesnar vs Taker match at WrestleMania XXX.
Oh No, The Old And Overrated Friends Of H Lost The Gold!
Probably the only good news to come out of Raw was that the giant sack of crap that is the New Age Outlaws are no longer the tag-team champions, and the far more deserving – and young – team of The Usos claimed the gold for the first time in their career.
The match was only average, mostly because it featured two 40-something year olds defending belts that they should never have won in the first place, much less keep for as long as they did.
A Beacon Of Hope In A Sea Of HHH’s
I’m going to assume that everyone reading this has seen the amazing Shield vs Wyatts match from Elimination Chamber. This was better, and I mean so much better. They turned everything up to 11 and the dissension between the members of The Shield increased in a surprising way.
Again, Rollins was the standout performer here, doing things that defy gravity. He doesn’t get enough credit for his ability to get the crowd going, much less his in-ring ability. He’s light years ahead of Reigns in terms of skill, and better than Ambrose too, though not by as wide a margin. Once the group eventually disbands, I can see Rollins having just as good a career as Reigns, provided they don’t turn Reigns into the new Cena and push no-one else for the next 10 – 15 years!
The Wyatts got the win because Seth Rollins refused to tag in and left out of frustration at the constant bickering between Ambrose and Reigns. It was surprising and took the Shield story in a different direction than we expected.
Now that the “glue” is gone, how long will it be before the break-up happens? One would assume it will happen at Mania where it will have a grand stage (the Grandest Stage of Them All you might say), but I think it will happen sooner, mostly because the 3 men have no big factions or groups of people to fight at Mania, and they deserve a marquee match.
Look for the break-up to happen next week, or the week after, leading to a triple-threat at Mania for Ambrose’s United States Championship. You heard it here fifth!
Sheamus vs Christian In: The Continuing Battle For Relevancy!
That picture honestly makes me think: “Quick Sheamus, our careers are escaping!”
Anyway, this match has happened so much on free TV that putting it on the Mania card (even the pre-show) would be a waste of time that other people could use. They can’t do anything we haven’t already seen and both men are struggling to maintain relevancy (Christian more so as his career is winding down now).
The match was nothing special although as much as I don’t like either man, I don’t think it deserved the “This is Awful” chants from the crowd. OK Chicago, we get it. You’re upset that Punk isn’t there. So am I, but that’s no reason to shit all over a match that wasn’t terrible. In fairness, it wasn’t the Divas tag match!
Speaking Of Which…
There’s a nice picture of the Bella’s stretching. That’s all I have to say about this match. When Paige debuts and starts fighting Summer Rae, Emma and AJ, call me!
HHH: Worst Boss Ever
This kind of segment is hard for someone like me. As a staunch HHHater, I can’t stand the fact that HHH is (in kayfabe at least) keeping Bryan down, and running him down, every week. I know that the match will happen and his continual refusal and “burial” of Bryan is actually building the tension to a point where if/when Bryan beats H at Mania, it will be all the more satisfying.
However, are we so sure that Bryan will win? I gotta say that I’m not. HHH has lost 2 of his last 3 Mania matches (to the Undertaker, but still), and is notorious for not making the right decisions when it comes to who wins his matches (see Punk at Night of Champions in 2011 as an example). The logical conclusion, based on the past 6 months, is that Bryan wins and conquers the Authority, but when we’re dealing with HHH, nothing’s logical.
All I’m saying for now is – don’t be too sure, and be prepared to be disappointed. I hope I’m wrong, but I have a funny feeling that I’m not.
From a storyline perspective, this was perfection. There was a definite good guy/bad guy dynamic. Triple H, for all his faults, was perfect here. He played the evil boss to absolute perfection. He even managed to make the crowd boo him more than they already were. And now, everyone, even the most casual fan, wants to see Daniel Bryan knee him in the face at WrestleMania to get his revenge. More stuff like this please!
Not Even Dolph Ziggler Can Sell Need For Speed
So Aaron Paul drove Ziggler to the ring for a 3-minute match with Del Rio, plugged his movie on commentary and left. That must be the worst use of a celebrity guest star ever! Nice to see Ziggler pick up the win here though. Maybe his stock is rising again?
Zeb Colter: World Peace Solver
You may have noticed I skipped over the Big E and Cesaro match from earlier in Raw. That’s because that wasn’t the last we’d see of it that night. Jack Swagger and Big E went at it, but before the match began, Cesaro Neutralized Big E, causing Swagger to get DQ’ed, evening things up for what happened earlier. The break-up of the Real Americans is coming, but thanks to the fantastic Zeb Colter, it was delayed – at least for a little while.
Future Test?
This was a match that I honestly thought we wouldn’t see until after WrestleMania, but with Batista’s heel turn accelerated thanks to the “smart” fans, it happened early. It seems like they were testing the waters for a future Bryan/Batista feud, and the results were good – at least for what little we got to see.
Like a TNA main-event, the match was riddled with interference from a number of people – Randy Orton, Kane, Triple H (and his beard) were all at ringside by the middle of the match, with Orton costing Batista the match by DQ for attacking Bryan.The announcers were shocked that Orton attacked Bryan instead of Batista, but if they used what little brains they have, they’d have realised that he did it to get Batista disqualified!
Triple H did his whole Triple H thing by getting involved and taking his tie off, which is code for “business is picking up”, but I think the Pedigree was kind of useless, especially when Bryan had already been Batista Bombed a few seconds earlier.
Again, a lot of people expected Punk here, but I honestly wasn’t surprised he didn’t show. There is a possibility, however slim, that he will return next week as part of Hulk Hogan’s “big WrestleMania 30 announcement”. Maybe they’ll insert him into the main-event with Batista and Orton (which is the only real reason Punk would come back anyway), or maybe Hulk’s announcement will be that he’s making the match between Bryan and HHH official.
Knowing our luck, it’ll probably be to announce that he’s found his long-lost brother, Jack!
See y’all next week!
***To hear more about what happened on Raw this week, tune into MFX – The Raw Edition, which will be on the site later this week***
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